Kittie Lanham Oakes 16 July 1894 - Contributed by Elaine Oakes
I have combined several documents that my Grandmother Kittie left. The originals were partly handwritten and partly typed on poor quality paper and had deteriorated badly. Some of the material was repetitious and some was fragmentary. None of it was really complete. Because they are interesting hints about other stories, I included the fragments but put them in brackets. I have added a very little from my memory of her stories. Grandmother was a great storyteller, and it is hard to say what really happened and what was just a good story she had read somewhere and adopted. The earlier versions had different names for several people and she probably didn't remember most of them by the time she wrote this, sixty-some years after the events. I believe most of the ordinary things, and most of the stories of mischief she and her sister got into. She claims that Sister was wild but from what she said about her own behavior she was pretty wild for those days, too. These days they would be considered normal to rather tame. I was born, under a lucky star, I think, in Grayson County, Texas in a village so small I cannot find it on my map and it may not even exist today. Both my grandfathers were Confederate Veterans and both were early settlers in Texas because, as they told me, Reconstruction Days were so difficult in South Carolina and Mississippi. They felt they would be far better off in new territory and both bought cheap land in Grayson County in 1870, within six months of each other. I was born there so some of my remembrances are tales they told me as a child. Grandfather Weems moved his family from Mississippi to a farm about four miles west of Sherman and Grandfather Lanham, from Edgefield, South Carolina to one about the same distance east. Both lived in log cabins in the beginning. Lanham Family My paternal grandfather was Col.
R.G. Lanham. He served with
General Lee in Virginia, and while there he met and married Caroline
Elizabeth
Harrison. I never met her as she died before my father and
mother
were married. The old Daguerreotype picture
and some bits and pieces
of jewelry are all I remember of her, but she left two sons, my father
Tom and Wiley, his younger brother. Papa said that I looked
very much
like her, and he also told me that she was
related to the two Harrison Presidents
and kin to Pocahontas but since then I do not remember, if I ever knew,
Weems Family My mother's father, James Madison
Weems, was born in Mississippi,
and I still have his old family Bible giving the names and dates of all
his brothers and sisters. Tradition gives the first Weems in
this
country as living in Virginia near the small town of Wakefield where
George
Washington was born. My Uncle Mat had a friend, also named
Weems, who
had traced the family line back to the Wymss Castle in Scotland but James Madison Weems, Sr. (1846 - 1916) grandfather of Kittie Lanham (Photograph contributed by Carolyn A. Rogers) Digging back into memories to see
what one can recall presents problems.
I think, because many children are brought up hearing anecdotes telling
of their early behavior, it is difficult for a person to separate what
they actually do remember from what they may have heard related to them
of early happenings in their infancy. I doubt that many can
draw
a line of distinction with accuracy. Mama had two brothers only a
little older than she and for this
weekend, the whole family was together.
I
don't remember what this celebration was for, but it was something
special. Uncle Mat made the ice cream. He set the big
freezer on a table on the back porch and turned the crank. I
adored both my uncles, and no small girl was ever petted more.
But both uncles loved to tease me, Uncle Mat in particular. That
was how I got the shock of my young life. It was a warm,
no! HOT! summer day in Texas and the ice in the freezer
melted fast. When the salty water began to overflow from the
wooden bucket of the freezer, Uncle Mat set the freezer in a big
dishpan. After several minutes of vigorous turning the crank, the
cream was frozen. Then Uncle Mat set it out of the pan and
wrapped it in feed sacks and left it on the table to ripen. He
pushed the pan full of icy saltwater back a little way under the
table. His job was done and he turned his attention to me.
He CHRISTMAS IN THE WEEMS HOME His
next home was a neat little gray cottage and I could almost draw a
blueprint of that place, it is so firmly fixed in my memory. The
whole family gathered there for the first Christmas that I can
remember. It was a traditional Christmas, only we did not have a
tree at home. I was told that Santa Claus would come down the
chimney if I hung up my stocking, however, since there was no
fireplace, only a big black heating stove with a six or seven inch
pipe, I could not quite take in the idea without a few questions. James Madison Weems Sr. home at Celina James Madison Weems Sr. with wife Kittie, Catherine Red Weems, and his daughter Annie Lou Lanham Weems with her two daughters Carrie Lee Lanham (Autry) and Kittie Lanham (Oakes) As for the Christmas tree, Uncle Buddy came to take me
to that.
Since our family was only visiting from out of town, Mama explained
that
I need not expect Santa Claus to have anything for me on that tree, but
that my presents would surely appear the
next morning in my stocking.
After assuring Mama that I just wanted to see the gorgeous, big tree
with
its bright decorations, and that I would not be disappointed, she let
me
go with him. Imagine my surprise when my name was called the
same
as the other children! Santa, himself, brought me a little
packet
tied up in bright ribbon. I was proud as could be, with a
lovely
box of four tiny perfumes, all different "flavors".
That Christmas Eve night I was so excited, and my small black cotton stocking did not seem nearly big enough to hold the doll I wanted, so I borrowed one from Grandmother. Then I worried for fear Santa would not know it was mine so I wrote a letter to him telling him about the exchange in hose. I was not more than five but I had been reading and writing more than a year. I carefully pinned the letter to the long stocking and hung it on a chair beside the stove just before kissing everybody "goodnight" and saying my "Now, I lay me." At Grandpa's home, I do not remember ever having a tree. There were always a few decorations, a mistletoe wreath with red ribbon bow on the front door, and some other bunches hung around the parlor (never called a "living room then") and in the dining room. One of Grandmother's sons or Papa saw that she had flowers, usually a vase of red and white carnations. But the only tree we saw was at the church. A tall cedar with many candles carefully placed and strings of popcorn and cranberries; sometimes tinsel strings sparkled among little brown paper bags of candy for the children, and striped peppermint candy canes, and a few of the lighter weight unbreakable toys. Next morning early, I found a small China doll in the top of my stocking. She was so beautifully dressed in soft red wool that I now know Grandmother must have spent many hours making that lace trimmed petticoat and tiny ruffled drawers with baby-sized buttons and buttonholes. Beside my stocking, there was a tiny iron cook stove almost an exact replica of the one in our kitchen, and the miniature pots and pans to go with it. I was so proud! I still have that doll. The memories of that Christmas are still vivid. It was wonderful, the family happiness, the laughter, the jokes and gentle teasing. Before the hearty breakfast, with every one of us around the long table, Grandpa conducted family worship. He read the story of the Baby Jesus from the family Bible, said a short, earnest prayer, then served our plates. Grandpa was a very devout man, a steward in the church, and he held family prayers every night just before retiring. After breakfast, Grandmother and Mama began preparing the elaborate Christmas dinner, stuffing and baking the turkey, getting vegetables ready, and all the things that could not have been prepared earlier. Coconut white cake, spice cake, and a big platter full of fancy cookies had been prepared during the week but several fruit cakes had been ripening, occasionally sprinkled with whiskey, for more than two months. Uncle Mat and Grandpa beat up eggnog and set it to ripen on the back porch. Each of the three of us had a sip, and my opinion as to its quality was gravely considered, even though they both were perfectly aware that was my very first taste of the delectable stuff. It was later served with some of the fruitcake to any guests who might drop in. The China doll I received that Christmas was not my first love for I remember Nora. She was a rag doll and I do not remember just when she was acquired, but I must have been very young, probably about three. Mama made this doll but it was all hand made and hand-painted with some of Mama's artist oils. I think she even made the pattern the doll was cut from for I have never seen another so well shaped. It had a nicely rounded head, well-shaped nose, and seams were well hidden under the beautifully painted baby face, which looked so much more like a real baby than the China doll. Nora even wore some of Sister's outgrown baby clothes. She was the only doll, of the many later ones I had, that I ever wanted to take to sleep with me, I loved her so. LIVING WITH THE KANE FAMILY Papa
was a country schoolteacher and moved about from one place to another
quite often. The first school that I remember about was probably
about twenty miles from where Grandpa and Grandmother lived. It
was in a farm community and our little family could find no house
available for the teacher's family. We were fortunate that one of
the members of the school board took us in to board in his home. We became members of the Kane family which was already rather large consisting of three grown sons, one of them away at college, two grown daughters, another almost grown, and the baby of the family only a year older that I. She and I were great playmates. The Kane home was large with a big attic where Lorena and I could find the most amazing costumes for dressing up like ladies. There were several storage trunks of garments that had long gone out of style, picture hats with enormous plumes, veils and wraps. That was a wonderful place to play, especially on rainy days. We could spend hours there without interfering with any of the grown-up projects. Mr. Grayson Kane was a very devout man, a well-to-do farmer and popular in that section of the county. It was the custom some time during the summer for an itinerant preacher to come into the community with a tent and hold about 10 days camp meeting. Once or twice the meeting was held in Mr. Kane's big pasture, but after a few years, the church managed to scrape up enough cash to buy a small tract of land on which they expected to build a church. Until this church was erected, a brush arbor was put up. Supports of four or five inch logs were set in the ground and a framework of lighter poles nailed across their tops. Then brush was piled on top enough to provide shade and even some protection from a light shower. At one end of the arbor, a platform was set up, and borrowed chairs provided seats for the choir. A crude shelf was set up at the front of the platform to hold the preacher's Bible, though after reading a few verses, it was rarely referred to. Some one in the community loaned an organ; the lodge provided flare torches, and the camp meeting was off to a good start. If the preacher was well known, sometimes families came for several miles in their big farm wagons. Mattresses and quilts were brought, as well as food for several days. Such gatherings of relatives and friends might provide their annual get-together, unless a funeral might intervene when the clans would always gather. Ordinarily, the Kane family attended the camp meetings with reasonable regularity since they lived only about three miles from the meeting grounds. But one summer, Mrs. Kane decided she was going to camp. Mr. Kane put up the objection that he could not stay at night because of his live stock. They had to be attended to night and morning, but in the end, he agreed to fit up one of his wagons for camping. One of the older boys could stay with the family and Mr. Kane and the hired hand Rufus would go to meetings during the days, always returning to the farm to do the chores and sleep there. Rufus was a drifter who had never been exposed to the hellfire and brimstone some of those country preachers could dispense. Neither was he overly gifted with gumption, though he could and did fulfill his farm duties fairly well under the close supervision Mr. Kane gave him. Mr. Kane was a little surprised when Rufus indicated that he wanted to attend some of the services but readily gave his permission, with the proviso that Rufus was to return at night with Mr. Kane to help with the chores. After seeing the preacher get himself well warmed up to his sermon, and seeing several shouting women, and mourners converted, the combined effect of these things made considerable impression on Rufus and he went down to the mourner's bench. But though many of the believers prayed with Rufus, and he returned to the bench for prayers several times, Rufus was still unconvicted. He was still struggling trying to think things out one night when he and Mr. Kane started for home. The meeting was expected to close the next day so Mr. Kane had left his gentle farm team of horses with his family, just in case they wanted to come home before he returned. On this night, he was driving a team of young mules to his wagon. They were not yet thoroughly trained for their duties, but were excellent plow animals. No noise followed the plow, but the wagon made sounds to them, running over some of the rocks in the road, empty and rattling along. Rufus, still under the spell of the preacher, was struggling in his soul, trying to pray salvation through, and asked Mr. Kane for help. Mr. Kane quoted scriptural verses in answer to all the questions and was sincerely concerned about his hand's welfare. The mules were trotting along under perfect control, the summer moon overhead, the peaceful night, and Rufus praying softly. About half way between the Kane home and the arbor, there was a long sloping hill leading down toward the Kane gate. Just as the wagon reached the top of this hill, Rufus stood up shouting. "I've got it! Hallelujah! Glory be, I've got religion, Mr. Kane! I'm goin' to Heaven, now!" The startled mules' first leap threw Rufus over the back of the wagon seat where he fell into the bed of the wagon, still shouting. Mr. Kane braced himself, trying to control those frightened mules in their headlong race down the hill, expecting every second for one of the wheels to strike a rock large enough to overturn the careening wagon. Rufus pulled himself up on his knees, yelling at the top of his voice. Mr. Kane was sawing on the heavy reins, trying desperately to bring his team under control. "Shut up, Rufus!, he ordered. "For pity sake, quiet down!" But Rufus paid no heed. "Hallelujah, I'm a-gonna see Glory!" The mules ran the harder. In desperation, Mr. Kane gathered both reins into his left hand, swung himself around on the seat and clouted Rufus right in the mouth. "Dammit, you fool! Shut your mouth, or we'll both be in Heaven, next minute!" Such an outburst was entirely out of character; Mr. Kane normally being a quiet, mild-mannered man, that Rufus was shocked into silence. The mules were quickly brought under control, and the two men reached home safely and in silence. Neither of them ever mentioned the incident. One of the neighbors, however, had just turned his team off the main road into his lane. He heard and saw the frantic run-away and he repeated the story to the preacher. The preacher stared at the man thoughtfully, then, "I take it, Mr. Brown, you don't drive mules," he said mildly. When school was over, we went back to Grandpa's for a visit. I cried myself sick when Mama gave my rag doll, Nora, to Lorena as a parting gift. Lorena and I, both, had other dolls but Nora was my favorite. Mama promised me she would make me another just like it but she never did. Strange how a single childish incident sets the pattern or furnishes a clue to other more important sequences. But from that time on, I knew in the depths of my heart that my wishes, my desires, and my longings were of minor importance to Mama. I realized then, though I was very young, that I could never count on complete fairness from her. And I have never understood why my doll should be taken away from me and given to some one else over my unwilling protests. Even after we moved away from that community, we often went back on visits as long as we lived in Texas. Lorena and I were flower girls when her grandparents celebrated their golden wedding. In those days it was a rare couple who lived long enough for that fiftieth year celebration, since then Texas was not far past pioneering days. It had been a hard life for many of them. Little old, Mrs. Callahan looked very sweet in her embroidered white dress, and their sons and daughters bought a lovely gold brooch for her gift and an elaborately engraved gold-headed cane for Mr. Callahan. I even remember the identical ruffled white dresses Lorena and I wore, with wide gold-colored satin sashes. The reception was held in the Kane's big living room and banks of goldenrod were everywhere. UNCLE MAT While
we were with Grandpa and Grandmother that summer, Uncle Mat hung up his
shingle as a dentist. First, he had studied for more than a year under
an old dentist who wanted a young partner. When he was sure that he
wanted to continue in this profession,
he went away to school in Baltimore
and studied in the dental college there. Later, he became one
of
the best in Texas and with his own practice. After a couple of years in the East at school, he came
back and
was quite the gay young blade, with his very fashionable tight fitting
trousers, derby hat, and bicycle. He also acquired a
beautiful trotting
horse, a buggy, and various other accessories. Once, he took me to Denison on his bicycle, a distance
of about
six or seven miles. He had planned to meet some of his young
friends
there. Some of the young women had come in buggies.
But for
that one night, I was thrilled at being his best girl. He
told me
so. He took me for a boat ride on the lake, got a water lily
for
me, and fed me all the popcorn and pink lemonade I could
handle.
I had a wonderful time.As we were riding home, with me on the handlebars,
much later than
my usual bedtime, his rear tire went flat and that meant we had to walk
for miles. Part of the way was along dark road, and through deserted
streets.
When we
finally did arrive at home, the whole family was up
waiting.
They were astonished that I had walked all that distance, without a
single
whine or whimper. And though it was very late and I was only
about
five, I had not complained of being too sleepy to walk and had never
asked
to be carried.
PAPA'S SECOND SCHOOL The next school my father taught
was endowed. Part of the
funds for it came from the state, but the building, grounds and house
for
the teacher's home were provided by a very wealthy old doctor as a
memorial
to his only daughter. He had selected about five acres from
the middle
of a huge pasture for the site.
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